Matters Helping All Parents: Conflicts for Positive Change

Have you checked out the Matters Helping All Parents:  Conflicts for Positive Change posts that MHA in Ulster County has posted this month?

Week 1 kicked off the theme with a video of Practical Tips to Reduce Conflicts with Parents and Children.

Week 2 provided resources on No Drama Discipline

Week 3 gave parents the opportunity to share stories of successful conflict management in the home.

Week 4 (this week) talked about how mistakes can be OPPORTUNITIES to help our children learn.  I particularly liked this portion from the “Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn” article for this week:

So much parenting and teaching is based on fear. Adults fear they aren’t doing a good job if they don’t make children do better. Too many are more concerned about what the neighbors will think than about what their children are learning.  Others are afraid that children will never learn to do better if they don’t instill them with fear and humiliation.  Most are afraid because they don’t know what else to do—and fear that if they don’t inflict blame, shame and pain, they will be acting permissively.

There is another way.  It is not permissive, and it truly motivates children to do better without paying the price of a lowered sense of self-worth. Teach children to be excited about mistakes as opportunities to learn.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to hear an adult say to a child, “You made a mistake. That is fantastic. What can we learn from it?” And I do mean “we.” Many mistakes are made because we haven’t taken time for training and encouragement. We often provoke rebellion instead of inspiring improvement.